Time to Retire That Stale Tee—Fresh Beer Shirts Just Landed
Your closet says a lot about you. And if it’s still holding onto that faded tee from your cousin’s 2012 stag party, it might be time to reassess. The shirt might still fit (barely), but let’s be honest—it’s not winning you any points at the BBQ or the brewery.
It’s time to make room for something with more personality, more bite, and way more beer. Our beer shirts weren’t made to blend in. They’re built to turn heads, spark conversations, and occasionally get side-eyes from your in-laws (you know, the good kind).
At Cochrane Balz Brewing, we craft shirts that hit the right note between clever and inappropriate, bold and wearable. If your wardrobe needs a cold one, this is it.
Why Everyone's Closet Could Use a Better Beer Shirt
A quick search for "funny T-shirts" online pulls up the same tired graphics and slogans. You’ve seen them: stick figures, bad dad jokes, or fonts so stretched they look like they were printed with regret. That’s the problem with most novelty shirts—they try too hard or they just don’t try at all.
At Cochrane Balz Brewing, we keep it simple: clever beer shirts, with just enough innuendo to get a smirk. You won’t find anything that screams for attention; our shirts whisper dirty thoughts behind your back.
From a fabric standpoint, we went with Gildan. Not the cheap, scratchy stuff—we’re talking quality cotton that won’t give up after one wash. Every shirt is print-on-demand via Printify, which means less waste and more attention to detail. It’s the kind of shirt you can wear to the taproom, the campsite, or Sunday dinner (if your family’s cool).
Want a preview? Hit the Full Tap Menu and browse the full lineup.
Gift-Worthy Without Being Boring
Buying gifts for men is a struggle. Just ask the internet. A Reddit thread with over 2,000 upvotes was dedicated to one question: "What do you get a guy who already has everything?" The answers ranged from “more whiskey” to “another damn mug.” Not exactly groundbreaking.
Now let’s say you want to get him something that doesn’t end up in the junk drawer. You want funny, wearable, slightly inappropriate—but still tasteful enough for his mom not to freak out.
That’s where our beer shirts make sense. They check every box:
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Practical (because it’s still a shirt)
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Funny (but not screaming it)
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Personal (especially if he’s got a thing for beer, BBQ, or ball jokes)
Explore our most gift-worthy tees from the Special Taproom Drafts (STDs) collection. If he can’t take a joke, he probably shouldn’t be wearing clothes anyway.
The Problem with Most Beer Shirts (And Why We Don’t Do That)
Here’s what typically happens: you Google "funny beer shirts," get bombarded with stock-photo-quality designs, click on one, buy it, and three days later—regret. The print cracks after one wash. The sizing is made for cardboard cutouts. And somehow, it still costs you $40.
We’ve seen it too. That’s why every Cochrane Balz Brewing shirt is:
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Printed on Gildan 5000 or a similar quality base
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Produced through Printify (a global leader in print-on-demand)
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Designed to avoid the usual “graphic tee shame spiral”
Even better: your order helps feed real kids in real schools. We donate $1 from every sale to the Breakfast Club of Canada. So while your shirt may be full of innuendo, your purchase does something good.
Designed for People Who Actually Like Beer
These aren’t your basic bar crawl tees. We make shirts for people who know what a saison is. People who can handle a joke and a 7% ABV at the same time. Every shirt is rooted in beer culture, made to feel like an inside joke you’re proud to wear out.
Whether you’re the one drinking the IPA or the one buying gifts for someone who drinks like one, there’s something here with your name all over it. (Or at least something that’ll get a laugh from your dad.)
Check out our On Tap Collection and grab something built to pair with laughs and lager.
STDs, Growlers, and Glasses: Our Most Unapologetic Designs Yet
We’re not into shock value. But we do love a shirt that makes you pause mid-sip. Our current fan-favorites?
All cheeky. All public-safe (unless you’re at church). And all found on our Full Tap Menu.
These shirts aren’t just merch—they’re conversation starters. Icebreakers. Outfit choices that say, "Yeah, I’m fun at parties."
Why Facebook Keeps Winning at Beer Shirt Sales
Forget Instagram aesthetics. For us, Facebook is where the real fans live. And we know why: that’s where people share, tag, and laugh together.
We’re not interested in over-polished influencer campaigns. Our posts show up on your feed like a funny uncle at a family reunion—unexpected, weirdly accurate, and probably wearing one of our shirts.
We’ve seen posts go viral because of one thing: relatability. Not algorithms, not hashtags. Humor that lands.
Social Proof Isn’t Just for Tech Bros
You know what sells shirts? Seeing someone else wear it and laugh. That’s why we encourage tags, shares, and actual customer content. This isn’t your typical drop-shipping setup with fake reviews and stolen designs. Every piece comes from our small team of beer swilling pun masters who actually gives a damn.
And it’s working. Customers tag us with photos from:
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Backyard BBQs
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Beer festivals
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Bachelor parties
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Camping trips
Want to be featured? Just wear it, post it, and we’ll probably repost it. If the T-shirt is wet, we may even send you a discounted dry one with your next order! ;)
If You Made It This Far, You Might Be Our People
If you're tired of shirts that say nothing—or worse, say the same thing everyone else is saying (How many times have we seen IPA (lot) or “It’s 5 O’Clock somewhere! LAME!)—it’s time for something better. Cochrane Balz Brewing beer shirts bring humor, edge, and a whole lot of personality to your wardrobe. These aren't throwaway tees; they’re the ones that get remembered.
Whether you’re buying for yourself or surprising someone with a gift that’s actually fun to open, we’ve got options that land harder than a Boiler Maker.
Skip the boring and lose the lame. Hit the taproom online and grab your new favorite shirt now at cochranebalzacbrewing.com.
